My confidante - rain

Dark clouds, with the rain, bring nostalgia.

Memories buried deep, in a corner of the heart,

Hidden from everyone, concealed from ourselves too.

Somethings you have forgotten ever existed,

The rains germinate them.

With the first drops comes petrichor,

The smell, it makes you a kid.

Deep inside, you wish schools get cancelled,

Only to realize that you now attend a school called life that takes no days off.

A hot 'cutting' is the craving now.

Rain gets heavier and thoughts get denser,

Staring out of the window, you think of her.

Nothing specific, just her, and the memoirs.

Rain aggravates the thirst to find the meaning; of that something unknown.

Tea gives way to a glass of neat scotch.

There is a rain within you, something you have saved for the dry summer days.

The rain within you, and the rain outside,

When both worlds collide,

Sparks fly out of the water,

Sparks never meant to be ignited!

Rain brings the desire for solitude.

For really you want no thought,

Just you, and the solitude,

And the blank gaze at the drops falling on your palm,

Then slipping out of your hand.

Rain is a person, unlike any other weather.

He comes, he destroys, he gives life…

Your wish for solitude is in fact a wish to be alone,

With rain, who knows all your deep secrets,

Because you have confided in him!

The Counselor

It was the second day Som sat sulking. Didn’t feel like doing anything, couldn’t pay attention to anything. The images on the TV moved and he sat staring at it blankly.

In comes the counselor friend, Nick!

One look and he knew what his friend was up to!

“Oye Hero, wassup? Valentine’s hangover?”

“Hmm.” That was all the reply Som could muster.

Nick walked straight to the fridge, grabbed a beer and plopped on the couch. Taking a sip, he said, “Ditched you? Wait, let me guess! Over the phone?”

Frustrated, Som asked, “What do you want?”

“Pass me those chips. And what is this shit you are watching? Hand over the remote.”

Som, wordlessly, did as he was bid.

The search for a good show was over and Nick’s mind was free to ask.

“So tell me, did she say: ‘It won’t work’ or ‘I don’t want to hurt you anymore?’”

“You are the enlightened one! You have guessed enough already, make more guesses!”

Nick reduced the volume of the TV and said, “Listen! From one friend to another - no one will give you this knowledge for free. Experience and life have taught me all this. So take it.

“It was your first love! First love is good. Great if it is her first too. Well, that doesn’t mean it comes with a guarantee! But yeah, you can enjoy it.

"The second one though is an eye opener. You realize love is not that fairy tale you thought of, or if your first love relationship was pleasant, this second one is remote from pleasant. Again exceptions prove the rule. Some need many second ones for their sleepy eyes to open. They are the more hopeful lot. A sprinkle of water is not enough sometimes. A full pail is required.

But yeah, it is rough. Either the other person is just playing with you, or so you think. Or simply that you think this is not the love that you want.

“Third love is a myth. Don’t get me wrong, there can be third relationships. The part of you that wants to love is dying. And you don't want the guilt. You feel you are becoming more and more like your first. So you don't want that third. You don't want more people to blame you. Like you blame them. Your conscience is hurting already for having fallen for the 2nd time. For you had hopes. I’d rather say perhaps coz you were brave. But now it is different. You might be brave, I don't doubt it. But there is a side that is keeping you from tormenting someone. Like you were betrayed.

"Suddenly all of it becomes clear to you. Why your first acted the way she did. You realize that you walked in the same shoes. And you regret for what you think you did. You know how much it had hurt you and can only imagine how much it would've hurt your 2nd.

"You start to see yourself in a very negative light. You feel no one deserves you because you are getting more and more like the person you once hated. And you hate yourself for that. But that doesn't help. In no way will it ever do. You will run away from people who are attracted to you. You feel like the flame. You see the moth coming to you, but for all you know, it will be better off at a distance, feel the warmth, get some light. The closer it gets, you will burn it, and you will kill that innocent creature.”

Som interrupted, “And you speak all this with experience?”

“Oh yeah, totally! I used to be the moth. Now I am the flame!”

“You recognize the problem; please enlighten me with the solution too!”

“Only one solution! Stop the blame game. Que sera sera! Focus on other things, read, take a vacation, go out. The last thing on your mind right now should be getting in a relationship.

“Before that, I’d ask, ‘Do you know why she broke up?’”

“Yeah. She told me what made her decide. Not that I believe it but yes, she told me some stuff!”

“Ok. Try to understand her position, see if the pondering helps you believe the reason she gave, and take it - satisfactory or not. If she wants to be with you, she will be back. And don’t act foolish if she does come back! If you are with someone then, reject her offer, but be friends! Remember the days you were together and how happy you were. Crunch, crunch, crunch. But my words are not final. You can find love as frequently and easily as you get a six on a fair die! Trivia time: in archaic English, die is to have an orgasm. Anyway, talking of a fair die, actually life is both fair and unfair based on how you look at it.”

TV was the only source of voice for some time before finally Nick said, “Damn I should be a counselor!”

Memoires

Reorganizing your stuff is not always a pleasant idea, but at the end when all looks sorted and nice, it gives immense satisfaction and pleases the mind. Not always though.

Yesterday was that exception. I came across the little CD she'd given when we parted. Full of songs that portrayed her feelings.

I realized I'd been staring at it a long time before I decided to play it. Loud enough that I was swaying to the jazz and swing and 60s-70s rock and pop.

All was good till it came to the ABBA song 'Hasta Mañana'. Words are like stones, they can sharpen a mind like sword and they can also shatter the heart of glass.

Luckily, the feeling lasted only for the length of the song. Perhaps because following it was the mambo number 'Sway'. And all was good and I cheered up again.

Some more songs saw my desk and wardrobe all assorted. Some songs that made me dance, some that caught me staring into emptiness. But it was done now. And the disk was to be shelved again.

If not the sorted wardrobe, then at least the fatigue makes sure you sleep well. Maybe not as well as the idiomatic 'baby's sleep'. Perhaps because babies don't have to organize their stuff. Long since my mother did it for me.

But I slept well. No dreams, no nightmares. Good sound sleep.

I had slept alone, tired. But I woke up with her thoughts. Thoughts that could disturb the whole day, make it difficult to focus on your work. They were there, there I was. And there she was, far away.

I had thought I don't care anymore, that I didn't give a damn. But the fact was that I did. And it took just a few songs to remind me of that. A few harmless, melodious tunes but lethal words.

What can I do now? I better keep that CD shelved.

Have I told lately, that I love you. Have I told you there is no one else above you. Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness. Ease my troubles, that's what you do...

Perhaps not anymore. No more.

Apollo and Dionysus

They argued, they fought.

He loved it. She hated it.

He was the critique, she was the connoisseur.

He cursed the flaws, she appreciated the efforts.

He wanted everything to be precise, she believed that feelings need to be true.

He liked the presentation, she liked the essence.

He emphasized on screenplay, dialogues meant a lot to her.

He was the mind, she was the heart.

He was the Sun; she was the moon.

Apollo and Dionysus.

Best friends they were, separated by all the known dimensions - space, time…

But the portal connecting their hearts was intact,

Unknown to the society, warping the beliefs.

The spark remained, perhaps never to be ignited.

Cross my heart. Not!

At first he was skeptical. Often when she had called him urgently, her talks were intimidating and that ended up making everything awkward. Not that she was condescending but she was realistic, practical. And that was his worst fears. And so today when she said she wanted to talk, he was scared, for he knew not what new blast of reality he would have to brave.

He reached the old fort and waited. She called on his phone to know where he was and minutes later, he saw her.

He hated these moments. No actually he dreaded them. How could he hate any moments spent with her. When he saw her, she beamed a smile at him and he knew things were different today. His fear was slowly evanescing. After a brief hug, they sat at their regular bench, gazing out at the city lights starting to come up. She eventually broke the silence around the birds returning home and the sun going down.

She had come up with an idea, a thought. And she wanted to tell him about it directly, tête-à-tête. Not on a phone call, nor through texts. She said, "You know, I don't know what we are doing with our lives." These words made the ghost of his fears start to materialize again. But she continued, "When in my teens, I would chat with my friends and all of us would believe in the happily ever after story. That all things will be good. That true love was not just true and pure, but also flawless, impeccable. Like Walter White's meth." Although that drew a laugh between them, he was not sure where this was going.

She said, "I would think me and my love, we would be like parallel lines. Always together."

He interrupted, "But parallel lines never meet?"

She replied, "Yes, but they are always heading the same way. Okay, imagine that the lines are parallel but they are only a teeny tiny distance apart."

He nodded his approval waiting for a glimpse of clear skies to know where they were heading.

She continued, “But you see, as I grew up, as life started turning from rainbow to shades of grey, I realized those parallel lines don’t exist. It’s an irrational thought.

“But then, you would not want to be intersecting lines too. Along all the paths that they tread on, they meet just once, only to move further away from each other after that. I have had such an experience. Sometimes you wish things were different, sometimes you feel it was necessary. Believe me the few moments that you are closest are the best that one can have, then there is the intersection and parting forever. Here, life does not ask you questions. It is you ask those. Bombard life with questions like: why did this happen, when will this happen, why is he not with me, why did our paths cross in the first place? But are there any set of lines which you would want to be?

“I would always ponder over until this afternoon. This afternoon, I found out what it is between us. You know, we are like the Sine and Cosine waves of the same amplitude, and our wavelengths like totally match. At most times, travelling parallel, then we intersect, and after some moments of bending and mending our ways, we run parallel again. And this goes on and on… Forever…”

He did not know what to say. His confused face made her repeat, “We’re like Sine wave and Cosine wave, parallel at most times, yet intersecting at times infinite!”

He still failed to understand why he was called there to meet with this level of urgency. He did not understand her at times, at times she was a riddle. But if she was the Riddler, he was no Batman, he was just her man!

Fall, flow or undulate?

Water! It falls, it flows, it undulates!

Aksha sat looking out of the window. The pouring rains and their pitter-patter on the roof. The drops bouncing off the floor and sprinkling droplets on his glasses. The occasional roar of the thunder. He liked the monsoon. He liked sipping coffee as he wrote. Somehow the monsoons inspired him. Always.

He heard the door bell and got up to open it. His silly friends were here. Complaining how wet clothes were pain in the ass. And how getting an auto in the rains was a task better left to the man from the land of Uz, Job, known for his patience! Sohni entered with her dripping umbrella and placed it on the window grills. Urjit had a beaming face perhaps because Sohni was irritated. Aksha never tried to understand their relation. They were the best friends. He would not speak much, Sohni would never stop talking, and Urjit would make sure that she never stopped. Yet, they were the best lot there could be. They didn't have a lot in common but that is what was different!

Aksha could not keep hearing the complaints Sohni had about the rains. He smiled at her and she knew he did not agree with her. Aksha’s mom got them chai and Sohni sipped it intermittently as she spoke.
“Come on Aksha, I know you like rains, I do too but not when I am in the city. I hate them here. I’d rather just go away from here and sit in the greenery out there. But our work won’t allow us right? Isn't that everyone’s story?”

Aksha replied, “I don’t know. I like it everywhere. It’s the same water. Same way of coming down. Here or away from here.”

Urjit interjected the rather few words that Aksha was anyways going to say. “I like the sea.”

Sohni looked at him with confusion. “Where is that coming from? I mean what has the sea got to do with the rains?” After a very brief pause during which Urjit could only move his jaw once, she said, “If you are going to say ‘water cycle’ and talk about evaporation and precipitation, I’d say keep the crap to yourself!”

With a wry grin, Urjit replied, “I meant the sea is good. Vast, never ending, and lets my imagination go wherever it wants.”

Sohni wouldn't let him talk more. “Ah! In that sense, I like rivers. Not the big, slow ones, but the rapid ones, the ones that provide rhythm to my flute. I just love to play flute by the banks of the Beas. I can never get over the Beas. It’s hands down the best thing I have ever seen or heard. It can be scary and it can be welcoming too. Its water can be chilly, but it is tempting to walk into it, wet your feet and take an occasional dip! Whatever you say I will always like it!”

Urjit liked her reply. But he hadn't finished making his point earlier. “It’s such a blissful feeling to be sitting on a beach with a nice book; I can paint the canvas with any colors I want! Staring into emptiness, taking me beyond my vision, beyond the horizon!”

Aksh loved to see them fight! But he never interfered. A smile was all he could wear!

Sohni had a point to make. “Oh, but sea does not support life! Okay, I mean in the conventional sense. It’s salty. You can’t open your eyes when you take a dip in it.”

“Aasu bhi to namkeen hote hai! (So are tears.) Somehow the salty water in my eyes gives me all those feelings. I don’t know. It’s not that I don’t like rivers, but I just can’t think of the anything else that can beat the magnificence of the ocean.”

Sohni replied, “Ha ha! A sailor went to sea, to see what he could see. And all that he could see, was sea, sea, sea! Can’t you get bored of it? A river is so much like our lives. Each bend is different. With each twist it changes course. All the places it flows through just bloom! It’s different!”

Aksha looked out the window. The downpour was reduced to a drizzle now. The healthy bickering of his buddies died out as he heard the chirping of the sparrow beating its wings to dry itself off. The sun peeked from the dark clouds. The writer in him needed no more inspiration…

Khidki par girti in berang boondon ko dekhke sochta hu, kitni berang hai zindagi,
Fir suraj ki kirano ki tarah badalon ke peeche se tumhari muskaan nazar aati hai.
Zindagi ke aasmaan par satrangi indra-dhanush nikhar aata hai…

Roughly translated:
(As I look at the colorless droplets on the window, I cannot help but compare it to my bland life.
Then, out of the dark clouds, the sun shines, just like your smile!
And on the canvas of life, appears a prismatic rainbow!)

Goodbyes are not forever!

She was sitting in her room when she heard a squeaking sound of the brakes of a car. She went back to the pondering state.

Minutes later, she heard the doorbell ring and her mother opened it. She heard his voice. “Hi ma’am, I just wanted to meet her once. I hope you don’t mind. Is she home?”

“Yes. She is in her room.”

He walked to her room with heavy steps. As he stood there, his heart raced as it always did when she was around. For her, she did not know what she felt. On one hand she felt reluctant to open the door, on the other hand, she prayed that he would bring the door down if she didn't open it. Her hand trembled as she held the doorknob. She could hear her breathing, and also his on the other side. With some efforts, she opened the door and saw him staring into her eyes.

He stood there, mere feet away from those beautiful, unblinking eyes. He took a step closer to them. And said, “Uh… This is a bit awkward but you know I am leaving. I just wanted to hug you before I did.” She opened her arms to receive him. After what seemed like eternity, they separated. She would not say a word. He took the hint and said, “I’ll take your leave now. Stay blessed!” She walked to him to the door. Her mom said, “You are leaving? Wait for lunch at least.”

He replied, “Actually, I am in a hurry. I have double parked too. Maybe some other time.” He knew there was no other time. He looked at her for one last time and walked away.

She saw him walk away. She said to him, “I know that!” He looked back and smiled. And went on.

As she closed the door, she sat on the couch staring into emptiness. Her mother broke the silence. “I had warned you. I had told you this would happen. This path would not take you far. It wasn't long before you realized it.” She replied, “You know it very clearly Amma. I could hear only what I wanted to.” Her mom argued, “Yes. And I always said that your paths intersected but they were never parallel.”

“Can we not talk about this? You are patronizing me.”

“As you say. You take some rest. I will call you when lunch is ready.”

He sat in his car and looked back at the window where she would stand. The time he saw her felt like a Sunday afternoon. He could cherish it only over the rest of the day & perhaps sleep over it. But he'd have to get up early the next Monday morning. As if shaken to wake up after a good dream.

He looked ahead of him and started to go farther. He looked in the mirror. Some things in life were best for you when seen in the rear-view mirror.

Ere the tree falls...

Thou wist thy heart beats hard,

Thou canst feel it race,

Thou canst feel it against thy chest.

All it doeth is take away thy sleep,

And the open, teary eyes showeth nightmares.

                         

It might've been thy truest part,

It might've been thy life.

It might be thy history.

But it is not thy destiny.

Ere the set of sun,

Ere all changeth to memories,

Where the place, whither we meet,

There nigh the tree that hath now been hewn!

Metrolympics!

The sports fever is becoming an epidemic with the London Olympics kicking off today. And as a warm up today's Express (Washington Post) (07/27/2012 Friday pg. 8) has an article titled:
Medal in Metro.

In a self-centric world, the journalist makes a statement about the audacious metro riders in Washington DC. Basic idea being that ‘riding on Metro must be an Olympics sport for all the efforts it takes!’
Bitch please! Wait till you see the Mumbai locals!
1.       When you say doors in the Metro close pretty fast; are not like elevator doors; and you need to get in before they shut on you, how about getting on a train with forever open doors and if you are late, you can still manage to catch it by running after it? (PS: though the doors are open, you could be up for a wall of human bodies).
2.       When you say you need to make your way through an entire school band that is clogging up the doorway, how about people pushing you to literally shove you inside?
3.       When you say maintaining balance while holding to anything requires core muscles of steel, how about the crowd so dense that scratching you own @$$ seems like an impossible feat? Or for that matters the BEST bus?
There are many more points which can be mentioned as to why the local trains are an adventurous yet mundane facet of Mumbai. And I am confining myself to making a very general statement.

And with all of the struggles for a 6”x6” square to stand on, you see that fourth person on a seat for three; you see couples standing against the side walls; you see the opening human wall with the sight of you running in after the train proving to be the magic words ‘Simsim’! You see the abuses and the calls asking people if they are blind, while the simple gesture to seek forgiveness if your feet touch them! And the festivities, and music, and the smell near the luggage car, it is quite difficult for someone observing it, but for someone inside, it is full of life! You may go away from it, but it can’t be taken away from a true citizen of the city!

As far as the Olympic game status goes, bring it on! It’d only bring some better hopes for Gold for India!!!

Sunshine!

Ever noticed the smile I get on my face when I look into your eyes?

Why do I smile?

Why do tears roll down my eyes?

Why does my heart beat ever so fast?

Because it is you who make me feel so special.

So blessed I am to be there for you.

So lucky I am to know that you will come to me.

That you will call out for me.

That you will run to me when the world is lonely.

That you will find refuge in my arms when it is dark everywhere.

That you can sleep peacefully with your head on my shoulders.

That when all roads are blocked, the one to my heart will always be open for you.

That when the world is against you, I would get to kiss your forehead and make your worries vanish.

That when you need someone to understand you, I’ll be summoned.

That when you feel like sharing a word, my ears will be blessed by your voice.

I feel proud when you say that I’m the only one to have accepted you for who you truly are.

But the reality is that you are the one who has actually understood me.

No one ever has touched me so deep, nor do I have any expectations from anyone else.

I’ll never find anyone like you.

You are like my guardian angel, looking over me at all times, happy or sad.

When you look at me, I see my world smiling at me.

When you give me that sweet smile, I see the stars shining down on me.

When you shine like the stars in glee, I feel I’ve been blessed.

When I feel blessed, I can’t hide the smile.

So every time I smile at you, just know that I love you.

And will always do.

Forever and ever.

I’m forever yours my Sunshine.

Keep shining on me.

Be Bold, Take Risk!

He could see the spark in her eyes. It was difficult to explain the vibes he encountered with every glint. He thought of them as glowing fireflies. When she looked at him, when their eyes met, the fly glowed and then she looked away perhaps shy. But that moment felt as if the firefly disappeared, only that he realized that it was not the glow or the firefly that diminished, it was his world growing dark when she looked away.

He knew this time that she was the one. He should not lose her. He’d been shy earlier and now he repented every moment of it. But now he could not afford to be bereaved of the magic moment he would share with her because of his coyness. If he’d learnt anything from his earlier afflictions, it was this; to be bold. If you don’t ask her out, someone else would. You would need to take risks. “To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing”. He could feel the words coming from an unknown source in his mind. He would realize the miracle of life only when he’d start to live an unexpected life. We have to convert the mundane to extraordinary and that takes courage. Risks need courage. He remembered Paulo Coelho’s word: Magic moment. “…that (magic) moment exists – a moment when all the power of the stars becomes part of us and enables us to perform miracles.”

He mustered all the courage he had and walked up to her. He feared nothing but being away from her for being a coward under the pretext of being shy.

He got up to walk to her desk. She looked at him getting up and smiled. That smile gave him some confidence. He rolled back his shoulders and held his chin high.

His heart hammered against his ribs. He took a deep breath and said, “Hi!” She smiled. He smiled back coyly and continued, “Would you like to go out with me tonight? We could have dinner together and catch a movie perhaps. If you can’t or have some other plans, it is okay. I won’t feel bad. I completely understand it’s such a short notice and I’m not sure if I’d be the best company to spend a Friday night with…..” After the first two sentences, his manly voice had micrified to a feeble mumbling. She cut him out and said, “Actually I do have some plans for tonight, so I can’t really go out with you for a movie.” His face still wore a smile but he was despondent inside to the core. She continued, “I need to go to my friend’s pretty late tonight so maybe we can go out for dinner!” his heart was now racing. He wanted to say a lot of things, wanted to act as if it was not a big deal, and he was cool, and he wasn’t really excited, but true emotions can hardly be hidden behind a mask. He was ecstatic and it reflected on his face and in his voice as he said, “Thanks! See you at 7:30 then, I’ll pick you up!” She gave him an ethereal smile as he turned back towards his desk.

It wasn’t that difficult, he thought. Perhaps it was a magic moment!

Life is but a dream!

“Go ahead, open it!”

“What?”

“Aren’t you going to sleep, baby?”

“Just this last paragraph and I’m done. But what did you say right now?”

“Like, when are you going to sleep?”

“No. Before that? What did you say?”

“What did I say? Did I say anything?”

“Goodness me! You don’t remember what you said seconds ago?” She cachinnated.

“Don’t ridicule me. I’m half asleep! I haven’t even opened my eyes.”

“I know. But never seen anyone blabber in their sleep!”

“Maybe I’m not blabbering. Wait! Did I say something like: ‘open it’?”

“You said, ‘Go ahead, open it.’”

“That explains it!”

“Here, look at me dear.”

“No, I don’t wanna open my eyes yet. You know, uh, I can… I can see this image in front of me: We’re at some fair; you, me and Adira. It’s some kind of a fair. We’re playing Bingo and Adi’s won something and I’m telling her to see what she’s won. So the words ‘Go ahead, open it’!”

“It seems you’re equally excited as Adi about the carnival visit tomorrow! Perhaps that’s why you’re thinking about it.”

“Well, that’s okay! I have had dreams earlier. It’s just that I usually don’t remember dreams! It’s like… I know it’s a dream. I know I’m describing it to you! I know you’re here, and you’re here for real! But I’m still in the dream!”

An awkward silence followed.

“You there?”, he inquired.

“Yes. Yes, I’m right here. Just don’t know what to say. Well, nothing’s wrong with you for sure. I’d say you better have a good sleep, ‘cause we’re going to have a tough time running after Adi at the carnival tomorrow.”

He felt a hand stroke his forehead, running through his hair. It felt good. He could sleep now.

“Daddy, wake up! It’s Saturday, you promised us. We’re going to the carnival today! Yuppieeeee!!!”
Nothing can be compared to the bliss of being woken up by your daughter jumping on your bed. He laughed as he remembered his friend's words, 'Any fool can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a Daddy!'

The day passed with more of such cheers from Adi.

The excitement had reached the pinnacle by the evening. And the drive to the carnival was chaotic as expected.

"Daddy, I want to go to the Ferris wheel!

Papa, I so want a Candy floss.

Can I play the Water gun game?"

The joy on her face was transcendent. Balloon shoot, Whac-a-mole, SkeeBall, all accrued smiles, on both her face and his.

“Papa, I want to play Bingo!”, came Adira with an electrifying smile on her face.

“Ok Adi, let’s play.” Yes it was a déjà vu!

The game went on. Caller called, “Four, Eight. Forty-eight.”

“Daddy, I got the top line across!”, jumped Adira.

The Caller summoned her and said, “We’ve got a winner for straight line across!”

Adi came down beaming with a red box in her hand.

“Go ahead, open it!”

Neha stared at him with a smile.

But all he could think of was Dan Wilcox' words:

I don’t care how poor a man is; if he has family, he’s rich.

It was a weird pun in saying that he was living in a dream!

Survival of the Resilient

I looked out of the window to see the torrential downpour still there. I decided to keep my bags there, so I got out of the office with just an umbrella. Just seconds had passed since I’d stepped out and I was wet through! Looking beyond the road, I saw the waves hitting the path to the island durgah and as usual, the sea tempted me. Wet anyways, I shut my umbrella and started walking towards it. Kids and oldies all alike, men n women from all faiths thronged here. They were showered with smiles!!!

I observed multifarious people but still remember a family; a couple in their mid 30s perhaps, and a kid of around 10.

“Kitta pani honeka nai? Baba! Tum to poora bhiga honeka.Aur bhi badhta kya pani?”

“Aur nahi to kya? Wo Salim bolneka ye rasta bhi poora pani ke neechu jaata hai!”...

I later met them at the bus stop. I waited for the bus because I knew the trains would never run on time in such rains. The guy came up to me and asked, “Miyaan, Dadar station se Kurla janeku train milenga na?”

I replied with a nod. A bit of chat and I learned that they hailed from Hyderabad and were here at his brother’s place. And he learnt that I too was supposed to go via Dadar. Few more minutes flew by. But no sight of the bus. And now his kid had started to shiver in the cool breeze of the evening blowing over the sea. He called for a taxi, offered me a lift, but I convince him how I won’t get a place to sit in the bus if not for that stop! A shake of the hand and they left with smiles on their faces!!!

I looked at my watch. 6:52 pm. I was going to be late. Wife would be crazy again! I made a mental note to buy her favourite mogre ka gajra on my way home!

Just the the silver lining appears on the horizon- Bus # 385!!!

Slow moving traffic, wet clothes, shut windows! But nothing can prevent me from a good dose of music!

It was some time later that my cell phone rang which got me out of my trance. It was her.

“Haan dear bolo! Aaj bus se aa rahaa hoon.”

A concerned sound of hers asked me if all was right! I confirmed my well being and it was then that I came to know that a serial blasts have rocked the city again just about 10 minutes back. Three places, one of them near Dadar station. My mind started racing, taking me to a different world! The very fact that I could have been there, and how I had escaped it by a whisker. Then the thoughts of the Hyderabadi family. It was too much of pain to imagine the smiling family to be amidst that debris. I could never find out what happened to them...

I logged on to FB for updates. It was being flooded with angered comments.

Taking a deep breath, I plunged into thoughts. The aeni mentis.

Tomorrow I’ll read of the blasts as a thing of the past. Yet another black Wednesday, just like the other black Tuesdays or Fridays.

Then I’ll see the resilient Mumbaikars getting back on track and hear of their heroics and bravery. And the famous Mumbai-spirit!

And the third day, it’ll be back to the scams! Nothing would change. Not till the next attacks. But that too would be just a couple of days. Nothing will change even then.

I had just survived a bomb blast! It could very much have been the last ride of my life had I taken it!

Survival! Strange word. Even animals survive. I’m no animal, I’m a human! I want to live!

So do the many around me. I don’t want to be tagged as resilient or brave; I need to be away from this. Just because I deserve to live! A peaceful night’s sleep is all I want, without having to fear whether I’ll survive the next day.

The secret behind the spirit of Mumbai is not its brave citizens. It is the hunger which craves and forces them to work. If they don’t bounce back, they’ll not survive. They’ve turned to animals who walk blindly. And that is why they survive.

I want to live.

Note: It’s time to take off the mask of tolerance. We are a peace loving nation, a responsible one, which has not started a war on any foreign country in the living history of over 1000 years. Agreed! But how long can we boast of that? We’ll have to survive to do that...

A must read article:

http://www.firstpost.com/politics/dear-pm-i-can-no-longer-be-resilient-and-strong-41195.html#disqus_thread

Love is a Monsoon!!!

Love is in the  air  rains!!!

The flooding skies had forced him to wait under the broken shed. He held his helmet as he checked the status of his wet clothes. He loved the world around him. Kids had returned from schools and were now jumping in puddles; a couple standing under one umbrella, sharing a bhutta. Such bliss! Unmatched!

Now the rains had diminished to a drizzle. He wanted to keep savouring the eternal bliss, but he had just 5 minutes left. So he rode the remainder of his journey.

As expected, he reached on time. But more unexpected outcomes were coming his way. First: He heard the words: “Yes sir, we have a table free. No waiting list!” He actually took out his cell phone to check: Sunday, June 12, 19:03. Just then another shocker arrives. His phone rang- it was her!

“Where are you dear? I’ve reached the security check!”

“Ok. I’m getting a table for us.”

“Ok sweetheart, I’ll be there in a jiffy! Mwah!!!”

Again he checked his phone. Just 5 minutes past scheduled time? Not quite a normal her!

A snap of fingers in front of his eyes got him out of his dumb daze.

”Hello! What are you thinking about?”

Without much thought he said,” Your cherubic beauty is augmented each time I see you!”

“Oh, you are such a practised liar!”

And she walked to the table. As they sat, he felt the urge to ask her if everything was good because the punctual her was something really new for him. But before his thoughts could turn into actions, she started:

“You know what? I’d been to Marine Lines with some friends. The place was full of couples, but even among them was a stand-out one! They were like, old, but mind stuffed with youth. They were like, standing on the pavement, and facing the splurging waves. I couldn’t resist the temptation so I joined them & later, so did my friends.”

“Excuse me sir! Would you like to place some order?”

He cursed the attendant, but said, “A frappe for me and...” He motioned at her.

She asked, “Anything special for the rains?”

The attendant replied, “Yes ma’am, we’ve got a range of hot chocolates especially for the monsoon lovers!”

“Fine, get me any one from them, the best you think.”

He interrupted, “Make it two, and cut the frappe out”

She continued as the attendant left, “So where was I? Ha. Later when we sat and chatted, they told us how they’d first met and how the first few meets were just a coy smile and how shy both of them were to initiate the talks. Finally it was her who asked him out for a walk on the Marine Lines, in the rains, and it was the 50^th anniversary of that walk! Would you believe that? 50 years!!!”

(A waiter set the chocolate on the table and left.)

She continued, “And they were just 15 and 17 then! I couldn’t help but ask them the secret to it. And the grandpa says, ’just have something to love in your life and you’ll have a great reason to live for!’ I felt so jealous I tell you! But I’m happy with you because I know that I can make it through with you alone.”

She raised a toast (chocolate mug actually) and said, “With you, my Buzz Lightyear, TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!!!” He followed suit.

All he did all the time was smile. He remembered the days when they were ‘just friends’ and how they talked on matters ranging from politics and sports to mythology and philosophy. He had his own eisegesis and exegesis which he could talk about for long hours. But ever since he discovered his feelings for her, he couldn’t speak word when she spoke. For he never felt like, for all he wanted was to keep looking at her. And even now, he was staring at her smile.

Some more time and she got up with her bag and said,”I’ll make it real fast now!”

He posted a big smile as she left, and sipped in from his mug. He smelled it as he did it.

Life-time is a full year! With three seasons, it has its variety. Love is your chocolate. With life starting with monsoon rains, get your chocolate heated up to enjoy life. Make sure you have the right mug. It doesn’t need to be the best looking one, a cracked one too can keep it warm. It just has to be yours. Blow it a bit as you drink. Don’t gulp it. Sip by sip. Savour the sweet smell. When it gets cold, don’t worry! Just warm it with your hands. Yes, the winter will come, but the frost will go away.

And when the summer of your life sets in, you can still enjoy your chocolate, now cold, for it has still not lost its sweetness. Love will not be any less sweet. You’ll love life!!!

Don't let the monsoon go away dry. It's the monsoon that makes the chocolate worthy!!!

He saw her coming back and called for the check. She came and sat to finish her chocolate. He paid and they prepared to leave. But as she got up, he held her hand. “Don’t ever leave!”

Teasing him, the movie buff in her said, “Saiyaan, Baiyaan chhod na!!!”

He didn’t care! All he could do is smile!!!

P.S.: Title to the post is borrowed from a poem. Please listen to it too.

Love is a monsoon!!!

Love is a Monsoon (on Youtube)