It was the second day Som sat sulking. Didn’t feel like
doing anything, couldn’t pay attention to anything. The images on the TV moved
and he sat staring at it blankly.
In comes the counselor friend, Nick!
One look and he knew what his friend was up to!
“Oye Hero, wassup? Valentine’s hangover?”
“Hmm.” That was all the reply Som could muster.
Nick walked straight to the fridge, grabbed a beer and
plopped on the couch. Taking a sip, he said, “Ditched you? Wait, let me guess!
Over the phone?”
Frustrated, Som asked, “What do you want?”
“Pass me those chips. And what is this shit you are
watching? Hand over the remote.”
Som, wordlessly, did as he was bid.
The search for a good show was over and Nick’s mind was free
to ask.
“So tell me, did she say: ‘It won’t work’ or ‘I don’t want
to hurt you anymore?’”
“You are the enlightened one! You have guessed enough
already, make more guesses!”
Nick reduced the volume of the TV and said, “Listen! From one friend to another - no one will give you this
knowledge for free. Experience and life have taught me all this. So take it.
“It was your first love! First love is good. Great if it is
her first too. Well, that doesn’t mean it comes with a guarantee! But yeah, you
can enjoy it.
"The second one though is an eye opener. You realize love is
not that fairy tale you thought of, or if your first love relationship was
pleasant, this second one is remote from pleasant. Again exceptions prove the
rule. Some need many second ones for their sleepy eyes to open. They are the
more hopeful lot. A sprinkle of water is not enough sometimes. A full pail is
required.
But yeah, it is rough. Either the other person is just
playing with you, or so you think. Or simply that you think this is not the love
that you want.
“Third love is a myth. Don’t get me wrong, there can be
third relationships. The part of you that wants to love is dying. And you don't
want the guilt. You feel you are becoming more and more like your first. So you
don't want that third. You don't want more people to blame you. Like you blame
them. Your conscience is hurting already for having fallen for the 2nd time.
For you had hopes. I’d rather say perhaps coz you were brave. But now it is
different. You might be brave, I don't doubt it. But there is a side that is
keeping you from tormenting someone. Like you were betrayed.
"Suddenly all of it becomes clear to you. Why your first
acted the way she did. You realize that you walked in the same shoes. And you
regret for what you think you did. You know how much it had hurt you and can
only imagine how much it would've hurt your 2nd.
"You start to see yourself in a very negative light. You feel
no one deserves you because you are getting more and more like the person you
once hated. And you hate yourself for that. But that doesn't help. In no way
will it ever do. You will run away from people who are attracted to you. You
feel like the flame. You see the moth coming to you, but for all you know, it
will be better off at a distance, feel the warmth, get some light. The closer
it gets, you will burn it, and you will kill that innocent creature.”
Som interrupted, “And you speak all this with experience?”
“Oh yeah, totally! I used to be the moth. Now I am the
flame!”
“You recognize the problem; please enlighten me with the
solution too!”
“Only one solution! Stop the blame game. Que sera sera!
Focus on other things, read, take a vacation, go out. The last thing on your
mind right now should be getting in a relationship.
“Before that, I’d ask, ‘Do you know why she broke up?’”
“Yeah. She told me what made her decide. Not that I believe
it but yes, she told me some stuff!”
“Ok. Try to understand her position, see if the pondering
helps you believe the reason she gave, and take it - satisfactory or not. If
she wants to be with you, she will be back. And don’t act foolish if she does
come back! If you are with someone then, reject her offer, but be friends!
Remember the days you were together and how happy you were. Crunch, crunch, crunch.
But my words are not final. You can find love as frequently and easily as you
get a six on a fair die! Trivia time: in archaic English, die is to have an orgasm. Anyway, talking of a fair die, actually life is both fair and unfair based on how you
look at it.”
