Kuch Nazme

Here are a few lines that I wrote in recent past. They're already on my instagram page, but I coun't forget to update my blog right?

So here are a few ones!

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The Counselor

It was the second day Som sat sulking. Didn’t feel like doing anything, couldn’t pay attention to anything. The images on the TV moved and he sat staring at it blankly.

In comes the counselor friend, Nick!

One look and he knew what his friend was up to!

“Oye Hero, wassup? Valentine’s hangover?”

“Hmm.” That was all the reply Som could muster.

Nick walked straight to the fridge, grabbed a beer and plopped on the couch. Taking a sip, he said, “Ditched you? Wait, let me guess! Over the phone?”

Frustrated, Som asked, “What do you want?”

“Pass me those chips. And what is this shit you are watching? Hand over the remote.”

Som, wordlessly, did as he was bid.

The search for a good show was over and Nick’s mind was free to ask.

“So tell me, did she say: ‘It won’t work’ or ‘I don’t want to hurt you anymore?’”

“You are the enlightened one! You have guessed enough already, make more guesses!”

Nick reduced the volume of the TV and said, “Listen! From one friend to another - no one will give you this knowledge for free. Experience and life have taught me all this. So take it.

“It was your first love! First love is good. Great if it is her first too. Well, that doesn’t mean it comes with a guarantee! But yeah, you can enjoy it.

"The second one though is an eye opener. You realize love is not that fairy tale you thought of, or if your first love relationship was pleasant, this second one is remote from pleasant. Again exceptions prove the rule. Some need many second ones for their sleepy eyes to open. They are the more hopeful lot. A sprinkle of water is not enough sometimes. A full pail is required.

But yeah, it is rough. Either the other person is just playing with you, or so you think. Or simply that you think this is not the love that you want.

“Third love is a myth. Don’t get me wrong, there can be third relationships. The part of you that wants to love is dying. And you don't want the guilt. You feel you are becoming more and more like your first. So you don't want that third. You don't want more people to blame you. Like you blame them. Your conscience is hurting already for having fallen for the 2nd time. For you had hopes. I’d rather say perhaps coz you were brave. But now it is different. You might be brave, I don't doubt it. But there is a side that is keeping you from tormenting someone. Like you were betrayed.

"Suddenly all of it becomes clear to you. Why your first acted the way she did. You realize that you walked in the same shoes. And you regret for what you think you did. You know how much it had hurt you and can only imagine how much it would've hurt your 2nd.

"You start to see yourself in a very negative light. You feel no one deserves you because you are getting more and more like the person you once hated. And you hate yourself for that. But that doesn't help. In no way will it ever do. You will run away from people who are attracted to you. You feel like the flame. You see the moth coming to you, but for all you know, it will be better off at a distance, feel the warmth, get some light. The closer it gets, you will burn it, and you will kill that innocent creature.”

Som interrupted, “And you speak all this with experience?”

“Oh yeah, totally! I used to be the moth. Now I am the flame!”

“You recognize the problem; please enlighten me with the solution too!”

“Only one solution! Stop the blame game. Que sera sera! Focus on other things, read, take a vacation, go out. The last thing on your mind right now should be getting in a relationship.

“Before that, I’d ask, ‘Do you know why she broke up?’”

“Yeah. She told me what made her decide. Not that I believe it but yes, she told me some stuff!”

“Ok. Try to understand her position, see if the pondering helps you believe the reason she gave, and take it - satisfactory or not. If she wants to be with you, she will be back. And don’t act foolish if she does come back! If you are with someone then, reject her offer, but be friends! Remember the days you were together and how happy you were. Crunch, crunch, crunch. But my words are not final. You can find love as frequently and easily as you get a six on a fair die! Trivia time: in archaic English, die is to have an orgasm. Anyway, talking of a fair die, actually life is both fair and unfair based on how you look at it.”

TV was the only source of voice for some time before finally Nick said, “Damn I should be a counselor!”

Apollo and Dionysus

They argued, they fought.

He loved it. She hated it.

He was the critique, she was the connoisseur.

He cursed the flaws, she appreciated the efforts.

He wanted everything to be precise, she believed that feelings need to be true.

He liked the presentation, she liked the essence.

He emphasized on screenplay, dialogues meant a lot to her.

He was the mind, she was the heart.

He was the Sun; she was the moon.

Apollo and Dionysus.

Best friends they were, separated by all the known dimensions - space, time…

But the portal connecting their hearts was intact,

Unknown to the society, warping the beliefs.

The spark remained, perhaps never to be ignited.

Fall, flow or undulate?

Water! It falls, it flows, it undulates!

Aksha sat looking out of the window. The pouring rains and their pitter-patter on the roof. The drops bouncing off the floor and sprinkling droplets on his glasses. The occasional roar of the thunder. He liked the monsoon. He liked sipping coffee as he wrote. Somehow the monsoons inspired him. Always.

He heard the door bell and got up to open it. His silly friends were here. Complaining how wet clothes were pain in the ass. And how getting an auto in the rains was a task better left to the man from the land of Uz, Job, known for his patience! Sohni entered with her dripping umbrella and placed it on the window grills. Urjit had a beaming face perhaps because Sohni was irritated. Aksha never tried to understand their relation. They were the best friends. He would not speak much, Sohni would never stop talking, and Urjit would make sure that she never stopped. Yet, they were the best lot there could be. They didn't have a lot in common but that is what was different!

Aksha could not keep hearing the complaints Sohni had about the rains. He smiled at her and she knew he did not agree with her. Aksha’s mom got them chai and Sohni sipped it intermittently as she spoke.
“Come on Aksha, I know you like rains, I do too but not when I am in the city. I hate them here. I’d rather just go away from here and sit in the greenery out there. But our work won’t allow us right? Isn't that everyone’s story?”

Aksha replied, “I don’t know. I like it everywhere. It’s the same water. Same way of coming down. Here or away from here.”

Urjit interjected the rather few words that Aksha was anyways going to say. “I like the sea.”

Sohni looked at him with confusion. “Where is that coming from? I mean what has the sea got to do with the rains?” After a very brief pause during which Urjit could only move his jaw once, she said, “If you are going to say ‘water cycle’ and talk about evaporation and precipitation, I’d say keep the crap to yourself!”

With a wry grin, Urjit replied, “I meant the sea is good. Vast, never ending, and lets my imagination go wherever it wants.”

Sohni wouldn't let him talk more. “Ah! In that sense, I like rivers. Not the big, slow ones, but the rapid ones, the ones that provide rhythm to my flute. I just love to play flute by the banks of the Beas. I can never get over the Beas. It’s hands down the best thing I have ever seen or heard. It can be scary and it can be welcoming too. Its water can be chilly, but it is tempting to walk into it, wet your feet and take an occasional dip! Whatever you say I will always like it!”

Urjit liked her reply. But he hadn't finished making his point earlier. “It’s such a blissful feeling to be sitting on a beach with a nice book; I can paint the canvas with any colors I want! Staring into emptiness, taking me beyond my vision, beyond the horizon!”

Aksh loved to see them fight! But he never interfered. A smile was all he could wear!

Sohni had a point to make. “Oh, but sea does not support life! Okay, I mean in the conventional sense. It’s salty. You can’t open your eyes when you take a dip in it.”

“Aasu bhi to namkeen hote hai! (So are tears.) Somehow the salty water in my eyes gives me all those feelings. I don’t know. It’s not that I don’t like rivers, but I just can’t think of the anything else that can beat the magnificence of the ocean.”

Sohni replied, “Ha ha! A sailor went to sea, to see what he could see. And all that he could see, was sea, sea, sea! Can’t you get bored of it? A river is so much like our lives. Each bend is different. With each twist it changes course. All the places it flows through just bloom! It’s different!”

Aksha looked out the window. The downpour was reduced to a drizzle now. The healthy bickering of his buddies died out as he heard the chirping of the sparrow beating its wings to dry itself off. The sun peeked from the dark clouds. The writer in him needed no more inspiration…

Khidki par girti in berang boondon ko dekhke sochta hu, kitni berang hai zindagi,
Fir suraj ki kirano ki tarah badalon ke peeche se tumhari muskaan nazar aati hai.
Zindagi ke aasmaan par satrangi indra-dhanush nikhar aata hai…

Roughly translated:
(As I look at the colorless droplets on the window, I cannot help but compare it to my bland life.
Then, out of the dark clouds, the sun shines, just like your smile!
And on the canvas of life, appears a prismatic rainbow!)