RADAR!!!

It's called RADAR!!!
Inbuilt in every guy!
It's not that we make any conscious efforts to turn our heads. Nor is it when we'd stare somewhere specifically. :P
We stare b'coz we care!!!

I'd like to share some real life incidents with you to make my point clear!

1) Me and Durga sitting in front of the stationery shop at LP. A girl comes up from behind us and moves ahead with her back at us all the time.
Durga comments something about her hair.
I say, "Even her face is sweet. She's cute!"
Durga was bemused as in how the hell did I manage to see her face?
I explained that actually, this girl had passed from that place some time ago. Durga and I were busy talking, but me being a guy, could MULTI-TASK and check her out as I chatted with Durga.
Durga: Kandy, kaisa faltu hai re tu!!!
Men will be men!!!

2) Me, Jathan and Dhanashree in Airoli Bus Depot waiting for their respective buses. Dhanashree is a bit pissed off and expressing her anger to some extent.
I interrupt and say: I hope Thane bus comes late.
Confused, they asked me why.
I said, "That cute girl in green is going to board a Thane bus."
After some time, she did embark a bus bound for Thane.
Dhanashree gave me a this-deserves-a-... look and asked me how I'd known that.
I replied, "Forget that. The girl in blue would enter any bus for Mulund!!!"
Again this was what happened!!!

3)Many from the LOSS group waiting in the auditorium for Sarvesh's speech as the Sports Sec at FE orientation.
Rameez: Damn these prof's speeches are too dull. Let's check out some girls.
I agree.
Rameez: I'll check the one's behind and you check the one's in the front.
Now the problem with my section was that I could not look at the faces from the current vantage point.
But after scanning and rescanning, Rameez shakes his head with a negative.
Obviously, with the dim lights, it was difficult to judge which girls looked good.
I replied:1 row before ours. To the extreme right corner seats. just behind that bald man. The one in Purple!!!
I tell you, we must've been at least 50 seats away.
I wont boast of all this coz this is not any quality, its just the RADAR system. Good reception that's it!!!
Now when the orientation is over, we are standing outside. RADAR senses a familiar reception. I turn my head around and see the girl in purple.

Then there are times when the RADAR has false alarms*. Some girl would be very good as you look at her from the rear. Anticipation builds up. You wait for her to turn around just to look at her face. 90% of the times, disappointment is what you get!!! You curse yourself and say it would've been better if you'd not have seen the face. Coz human mind can imagine great things!!!

It is very natural. It happens with every guy. I just hope that I have put forth the exact kind of description. I know guys would relate to some similar incidents in their lives. All I'd say is, feel free to share them here. Shed your inhibitions. Leave comments. Girls would curse you a bit but let them understand what it is exactly to be a guy. And how embarrassing it can be to be caught doing so even when it is something you don't do on purpose. Let them know why their BFs or husbands behave in such a cheap (?) manner when they see a hot girl!!!

I spoke for all you guys. Now please don't leave me alone. Let them know that I'm not alone!!!



* False alarm: A technical term in RADAR engineering. It's a case when desired object in not tracked. Instead, some object appearing as desired target is tracked when the reflection off its surface exceeds the threshold level. This is a disturbance and must be avoided for better working of the RADAR.

(Special thanks to Ninad for the idea. Refer: http://corrompu.blogspot.com/2011/03/leer.html
Jathan and Harshad, for the discussion we had the other day.
All the guys for sharing the good times.
And all the beautiful girls for the good times. :P)

Conspiracy!!!

Humpty Dumpty!

Did he fall, or was he pushed, or was it that he jumped?

Or was it, in fact, none of the above?

There has always been controversy surrounding Humpty Dumpty's famous plunge from the wall. Historical details are sketchy at best. Eyewitness accounts conflict. And even the exact location of the original wall remains uncertain.

In a famous lawsuit, two rival farmers, each claiming that the original wall stood upon their property, and each receiving a hearty annual turnover from tourists who paid to view it, sued each other. Humpty refused to substantiate either claim and the case was thrown out of court.

Conspiracy theories abound. One hinges on the matter of Humpty's real identity. According to some, he was a failed Bindass TV Reality show star called King Horseman (all these find a mention in the rhyme) who reinvented himself by taking on the exotic, foreign-sounding name of Humpty Dumpty and performing a real-life stunt, without the aid of a crash mat.

This theory was dubbed the 'Did He Fall (on purpose) Theory'.

It does not however, stand up to close scrutiny, as extensive searches through the Bindass TV archives have failed to turn up a single piece of footage, from any TV show, that involved a heavy plump stunt man.

The 'Was He Pushed? Theory' stands upon even shakier ground. It encorporated a number of co-related sub-theories, listed below:

• Sub-theory 1: He was pushed by: (a) a jealous lover; (b) a miffed business associate; (c) a rival, in love or in business; or (d) an assassin hires by any of the above. But he survived the fall.
• Sub-theory 2: He did not survive the fall. In this theory, he actually died and was replaced by a lookalike.
• Sub-theory 3: He did survive the fall, but was replaced by a lookalike anyway and went into seclusion somewhere. He was anyway earning a lot from the royalty he received since the rhyme was created.

The 'Did He Jump? Theory' puts forward the failed suicide hypothesis. It hints at depression brought on by Humpty's obvious eating disorder and draws support from the interview he once gave on 'The Oprah Winfrey Show' on which Humpty spoke at length about his weight problem.

Critics of this particular theory state that Humpty's appearance on the show was nothing more than a cynical marketing exercise to promote his latest book, The H Plan Diet.


Yet another theory has it that there was more than one Humpty Dumpty, but no wall involved: one Humpty fell from the side of a grassy knoll and other from the window of a godown.
This is known as 'The Particularly Stupid Theory' sometimes referred to as the 'Bullshit' theory.
Here endeth the theories.

Now it is your decision My Lord that we all await.




(Imspired from an idea presented in a book named "The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse" by Robert Rankin)

Strawberries with cream!!!

It had been a very tiring day for him. He felt sleepy but he had to go.
He wasn't exactly into Hindustani music but he loved her, and she was to perform tonight.

The show ended with the Bhairavi and curtains fell with the applause. He got up and marched backstage. He found her getting redressed in the green room. He went behind her, held her in his embrace. She turned around after looking at him in the mirror. He kissed her on the forehead.

She asked him, "How was it? Which part did you like the most?"
He couldn't answer at once, but before he could, she caught him.
"You dozed off. Right? I knew that it was a waste of effort to call you for the show. You'll never understand the talent I've got. Perhaps you should have seen the faces of the mesmerised audience. But how would you see? You were busy dreaming!"
He interrupted her, "Why don't we go to some restaurant and talk? You must be hungry."
But she had not finished yet. "So now the sleep has made you hungry! And why do you want to take the argument before the public, at some restaurant?"
"I am not arguing, dear." He said quietly.
He was trapped again. "Yeah. I am the one who is! What d'you think? You think it's you who's keeping our marriage intact and I am responsible for it's sourness?"
"I didn't say anything even closer to that."
"You know what your problem is? You wont say a thing! You wont help, wont appreciate, wont even make an effort to do so!"
He remained silent. Okay, he might've dozed off, but she should've realized that he was deprieved of proper rest. The music moreover proved to soothen his mind. He now reiterated his "less" interest in classical music.
She seemed to have anticipated this reason. "Great! So that explains it all! You aren't fond of it, you wont appreciate it."
He felt the need to interrupt. "If I'd lied and said that I enjoyed it, you'd have been more angry and I know that you'd have guessed that I lied. God, I really don't understand women!"
"Women?" She snapped at him. "Which all women do you fail to understand? And what d'you think, I like to watch your dumb polo games? I dont find them exciting too. More than the game, what women wear seems to be a topic of greater interest there. But have I ever complained? I never failed to praise your game. So what if I don't like the game, I love you and I want you to be happy! But men will remain to be men!!!"

She walked off.
By the time he was jolted to reality, she'd left the room. He ran out on the road. He saw her board a cab and it drove off. He realized how biased the world was! A beautiful, young woman could get a cab without and efforts even at 11 in the night.

He walked towards the parking. Sat in the car for a second before putting in the keys. He took the car to the nearest fresh mart, went in and came out with fresh strawberries and fresh whipped cream. He had a mild smile on his lips.

Life was "Strawberries with cream". Strawberries could be sour and tangy, but the creamy moments made it worth living!!!

* * *Keep Shining * * *

He looked into his watch. 19:21.
Venus shone in the west.
He stared at the planet. With the moon in the foreground, the view was picturesque. He wanted to savour the sight before he went to sleep. He was glad that he was fond of gazing at the sky.
He didn't feel lonely anymore.
No, the stars were no company. It was her presence that killed the loneliness.
She watched his silhouette against the blue tinge of the moon. She climbed the stairs of the terrace to reach his ground. She could see him look into the sky. Gazing at something far away...
He turned around and was gladdened by the sight - she looked even more beautiful in the moon light.

"Hi!" she greeted him rather awkwardly.
He could not even mouth any words. He barely managed to sport a smile.
She found the silence disturbing. She broke it again.
"Do you like stars?"
It was a dumb question, but it served its purpose well - to break the ice.
He replied, "Hmmm. I do like to gaze at stars. quite an avid follower of amateur astronomy you can say."
"Oh that's so cool. So would you like to share some knowledge?"
"Sure. Well, to start with, that thing you see, is called the Moon."
She had a dull frown on her face, but the night hid it well.
He continued,
"And that star besides it is no star, it's Venus. Brightest planet. And that one, Sirius, is the brightest star.
Frankly speaking, its not the sky as we see it. This view is something from the history."
Bemused by his words, she felt the urge to ask to adumbrate. But she had to gulp down her words, for now he could not stop.
"You'd ask which history am I talking about? The history of stars! As these stars are far away, we can just see how they were some years back!
Now let's explain further. That star over there, is Alpha Centauri. It is the nearest from earth. And still it is 4 light years away. So 'if' it suddenly disappears at this very moment, we will not be able to observe it till 4 years from now! Isn't that interesting?"
Just like human life, she thought, something you do now, would show its effects only after some years. But she did not interrupt him.
His words were remotely romantic, but she liked it when he spoke.
He went further with his 'knowlege'. She tried to listen to it intently.

He showed her the Ursa major, the Pole star, the Orion, Canis major, Draco, Gemini, Taurus, Leo...
She finally interrupted him. "Don't you think you are missing something?"
He plunged himself into a serious thinking. Which celestial body did he miss?
She helped him find his answer.
She pecked him on his cheek.
The touch of her lips made him realise which heavenly being he had overlooked.
He could feel the blood gushing to his cheek. They were pink. He thanked God that it was night. He didn't want her to see him feel shy. It was the first time!
She dared to hold his hand and let the silence unfold the magic.

Again she broke it.
"Did you see that? It was a shooting star!!! You wished something? It comes true!"
He said, "That isn't a star! It's a meteorite entering the Earth's atmosphere. The friction with the air particles heats it's surface and that is the reason it glows. It is a very natural phenomenon. I've seen meteor showers. By your logic, I could've had hundreds of wishes fulfilled by now!!!"

Perhaps he needed to be made aware of her presence once again. The grip on his hand tightened...

What am I to you???

The train started. Her long journey was going to be a test. A test for her patience and the destination would expect an answer. Yes or No.

She wanted to ponder over it, but procrastinated.

Took out her music player.

Plug. Shuffle playlist. Play.

She heard the first notes and knew it was a wrong decision. Her heart did not wish for this song to be played, but did not have the strength to change it. Perhaps this was a sign. How else was it possible that out of over 400 songs, this was being played?

The words echoed. And the wheel rotated. With the train, her mind started running.

If there is something that can travel faster than light, it is the mind. Thoughts...

"Why am I still here? What is it that keeps me tethered?

It was all the while that I knew. He always told me, "I consider you to be that someone who I want to be around me forever!"

Was it my misinterpretation?

But why am I thinking so much? I have decided that it is over. Okay it might be that I have tried to be adamant on this decision more than once, but this time I know its over and out! It'll now be Best Friends Forever. Hopefully.

Hope is all I have and have always had..."

A fellow passenger looked at her staring at him. He tried to look elsewhere but couldn't avoid looking at her. Not just because she was beautiful. Perhaps her dilemma was reflected on her face. But he'd have admitted that there could not be a girl as good as she was, even with the blank face, he could peep in her eyes which lead to an abyss. The reason of the worried face lied in there, at the bottom, but the depth was unfathomable. He couldn't let his gaze shift.

As Paulo Coelho says, 'Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.'

She'd waited. Now she wanted to forget. But she always found her in the third case- dilemma.

Hardly any other thing can bring up both extremes at the same time like love. It could be the source of immense pleasure or acute pain. Reciprocation makes lover the luckiest man in the world while non-reciprocated love could be source of all miseries.

Despite all this, defining love could be a challenging task. It is not necessary that the love to be real has to be reciprocated. It is mostly one way traffic. True lover excels in giving not taking. True love does not ask for returns. Or at least this is what she'd heard.

"But it was me who always held on. To cite his words: 'Don't take our friendship to the next level. All it'd do is complicate the situation. And that is something which I don’t want to happen. From my experience, I tell you, that the relation we share now is not going to be the same once it reaches the next level.'

"Perhaps he was right all the time. I was so blind that I was deaf. Yes it has always been me who took it the wrong way."

The song was dying with the coda.

Replay: Norah Jones- What am I to you....

What am I to you?
Tell me darlin' true.
To me you are the sea,
Vast as you can be
And deep the shade of blue!!!

When you're feeling low,
To whom else do you go?
See I cry if you hurt,
I'd give you my last shirt
Because I love you so!!!

If my sky should fall,
Would you even call?
Opened up my heart,
I never want to part.
I'm giving you the ball...

I will you love when you're blue.
Tell me darlin' true,
What am I to you?
What am I to you?
What am I to you?